Public Opinion Pollster: Paul Murky of Murky Research
Corporate Spokesperson: Hugh Lyon Sack
Communications Director: George Stayontopothis
Secretary of Pain Relief: Les Aspirin
Automotive Medical Researcher: Dr. Denton Fender
Surgeon General: C. Everett Koop DeVille
Head, Staff Physics Dept: Victor Analysis
Staff Physicist: Moe Mentum
Chairman, Math. Dept: Horatio Algebra
Staff Metereologist: Gail Storm
Director of Unsolicited Advice: H. Ross Peugeot
Air Quality Monitor: Carmine Dioxide
Staff Disciplinarian: Les Stern
Staff Geneticist: Dr. Jean Poole
Assertiveness Training Coach: Lois Steem
Marriage Counselor: Marion Haste
Elocution Coach: Richard Shun
Literary Critics: Ernest & Julio Hemingway
Poet Laureate: Ogden Nash Rambler
Fashion Consultant: Natalie Attired
Grammar Consultant: I.M. Shirley Wright
Seating Consultant Rush Lumbar
German Interpreter: Axel Hausen
Defense Dept. Consultant: Major Error
Head of Computer Services: Dot Matrix
Automotive Finishes Consultant: Rusty Steele
Electronics Technician: Sammy Conductor
Repair Cost Consultant: Bill M. Moore
Heads of Parts Dept: Al Lloyd Wheel, Constance Velocity
Staff Nutritionist: Arlene Menu
Staff Cook: Al Dente
Staff Bottlewasher: Ken Opener
Staff Reporter: Walter Windshield
Staff Dramatist: Anton Chokeov
Director of Programming: Sumner Reruns
Transportation Coordinator: Rick Shaw
Fleet Director: Oscar de la Rental
Keeper of Bell Tower: Quasi Automotive (Hatchback of Notre Dame)
President, Car Talk Hair Club for Men: Emerson Fittibaldie
Manager, Car Talk Capital Depreciation Fund: Les Ismore
Tax Consultant: Lou Pole
Staff Composers: Gustav Muffler, Bela Cartok
Conductor, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra: Philip Harmonic
Conductor Emeritus, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra: Sludgy Ozawa
Staff Psychologist: Les Moody
Director of Purchasing: Lois Bidder
Head of Security: Barb Dwyer
Head of Bldgs. & Grounds: Moe D'Lawn
Staff Actuaries: Mort & Fay Tality
Congressional Lobbyists: Orin Hatchback, Dan Rostenkarsky, Paul Simonize
Sales Motivation Coach: Norman Vincent Pealeout
Liason Officer to Volvo & Renault: Bjorne Toulouse
Director, Long Range Strategic Planning: Kay Serrah
Chief Legal Council: Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe